February 7, 2012


Five new images have been released for Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.  I’m still waiting for someone to pop out and say, “Ha ha!  We’re just kidding.  This isn’t a real movie.  It’s an Asylum title that was made over the weekend and the cast was paid with promises of Blimpie subs.”  But for the moment, it’s being set up as a summer blockbuster with a goofy title.  I’m eager to get a look at this thing because right now it sounds like a gimmick, and these new photos don’t give much of an indication otherwise.

Hit the jump for the images along with some quotes on the movie from star Benjamin WalkerAbraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter opens in 3D on June 22nd.

Images and quotes via EW.  Finally, the first teaser trailer for the film hits Friday.  Check back later this week to watch it.

Walker says the film will pepper Lincoln’s life with vampires:

“It’s told through the structure of Lincoln’s actual life. You not only see these huge fight scenes and great moments of drama, but you get sort of the greatest hits of Lincoln’s life, from the mysterious death of his mother through the Gettysburg address,” says Walker. “You get a portrait of this man, as well as a thriller.”

abraham-lincoln-vampire-hunter-posterDoesn’t the thriller aspect undermine the real-life drama?  How does a scene like this go?  Is Lincoln preparing for the Gettysburg address by thinking, “This proclamation will end centuries of slavery in America.  It will fundamentally change our nation forever.  Oh shit!  A vampire!”

Speaking of slavery, it looks like the filmmakers thought that could use some embellishment as well.  EW describes an early scene from the movie:

Lincoln has journeyed to Louisiana to rescue a friend — a freed black man named William Johnson (The Hurt Locker‘s Anthony Mackie), who has been captured by a cabal of Southern vampires.

Vampires like the idea of slavery because, for them, it turns plantations into livestock farms. If certain groups of human beings are considered property, then the Confederacy is like an all-you-can-eat buffet for bloodsuckers looking to feed without consequence.

That makes no fucking sense.  If you’re a plantation owner, you absolutely care if your property is getting destroyed.  It’s how you make money, and slaves were expensive.  It’s like a farmer who eats his crops.  If you eat the way you make a living, then you don’t make a living anymore.  The plantation would run out of “livestock”.

But, yeah.  Vampires.  Lincoln.  It sells itself as long as people don’t chuckle at the title and then move on with their day.  But that will never happen.

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