Denzel Washington reads from the BOOK OF ELI

     September 5, 2008

Written by Matt Goldberg

The Hughes Brothers will be making their first film since 2001’s “From Hell” with Denzel Washington. The film is called “Book of Eli” and revolves around a lone hero (Washington) who must fight his way across a post-apocalyptic America to bring society the knowledge that could be the key to its redemption. That’s right: the whole film revolves around one guy’s quest to drop some knowledge. The film will end with the super-imposed text “KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!” and a freeze-frame close-up of a smiling Denzel. Feel the uplift.

Since I don’t really have any more news on the film, I will now proceed to speculate what piece of vital knowledge Denzel’s character hopes to


– Those Jimmy Dean pancake-sausage things cause instant diabetes

– The hero’s journey is not what he imagined it to be

– Love conquers all except for the giant mutant space dragons that have emerged in the post-apocalyptic wasteland.

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