January 6, 2009

Written by Matt Goldberg

Variety is reporting that director DJ Caruso is set up to direct “Jack the Giant Killer” over at New Line. The story would be, according to Variety, an “adult” look at the fable of Jack and the Beanstalk. So, what, is the beanstalk now slang for male genitalia? Will we see bones actually ground into the making of bread? How (and why) do you make an adult-version of “Jack and the Beanstalk”?

Wait, here’s a description: When a princess is kidnapped, a long-standing peace between men and giants becomes threatened, and a young farmer is given an opportunity to lead a dangerous expedition to the giant kingdom to rescue her. I haven’t read any fairy tales in a long time, but how is this “adult”? I mean, you can throw in terms like “long-standing peace” and “dangerous expedition” but those are just euphemisms.

But the larger concern isn’t how many times they’ll say “fuck” in this movie; it’s what happens to that other project Caruso was going to direct: a planned trilogy of films adapting Brian K. Vaughn’s brilliant comic series, “Y: The Last Man”. Variety is of no help here in explaining if “Jack the Giant Killer” is now Caruso’s next film or if “Y” still takes the lead. I hope it’s the latter because I could not give less of a fuck about an “adult” adaptation of a guy climbing produce to save a princess.

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