‘Game of Thrones’ Guide, Week 2: Every Question We Have After “A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms”

     April 22, 2019

Grab the largest horn of giant’s milk you can find, my friends, because another chapter of Game of Thrones has come and gone and Everyone. Is About. To Die. Next week is the 82-minute long dead and company battle-a-palooza that’s going to make “Blackwater” look like a high-school production of Seussical the Musical, so naturally Episode 2, “A Knight of Seven Kingdoms”, was a bleak hour that saw everyone contemplating their impending deaths via walking skeletons while sitting in extremely poorly-lit rooms. It took place entirely on the eve of battle, The Moping Hour™, that surreal pre-fight time when everyone is at their most horny, sad, and sassy, which any scientist will tell you are the three baseline human emotions. Lady Brienne of Tarth is now Ser Brienne of Tarth. Bran Stark revealed that, not to brag or anything, but the Night King is coming specifically to kill him. Arya Stark made us simultaneously cheer for a young woman taking charge of her sexual agency on quite possibly her last night on Earth while also frantically Wikipedia’ing seasons 3-5 to try and parse out just how the hell old Arya Stark is supposed to be.

It was a lot for an episode that actually did so little, is what I’m saying. And mostly we all just have questions. Questions like…