Howard Stern Reviving ROCK ‘N’ ROLL HIGH SCHOOL

     July 31, 2008

Written by Nicole Pedersen

Howard Stern (bane of the FCC and Father of Fartman) is producing a modern remake of the 1979 cult classic “Rock ‘n’ Roll High School.” According to Daily Variety, Stern has asked actor/writer/director Alex Winter (best known as Bill S. Preston Esquire from the “Bill & Ted” films) to draft the screenplay.

For anyone out there who is unfamiliar with “Rock ‘n’ Roll High School,” I suggest that you rent it – not because it is great cinema (it’s a B- movie at best) and not because it has a complex plot (they don’t come any simpler) but because it is really a movie that you have to see to believe. I saw it in the theatre when I was seven and I still have a hard time believing someone at a studio let it get that far.

Starring 70’s pigtail-queen PJ Soles (“Carrie,” “Halloween”), “High School” is about one rebellious girl’s fight to see her favorite band in concert – The Ramones. She’s in love with Joey Ramone and has written a song she hopes he will sing. Her nemesis is the authoritarian principal of Vince Lombardi High who, naturally, has an intense hatred for all-things Ramone.

If you are not yet convinced that this film is a surrealist masterpiece let me point out that in 1979 very few people knew who the hell the Ramones were. Also, and I mean no disrespect here, the idea that a nubile 17 year old would be swooning over pictures of Joey Ramone strains credulity. The man made Sid Vicious look like an Adonis. “Rock ‘n’ Roll” was not exactly financially successful – though it has lived on thanks to its superior soundtrack and its historical quirkiness.

Unfortunately the founding members of America‘s preeminent garage band have not survived to see this film spawn a remake – which means Stern and Winter will have to think of another band for their heroine to deify. So, what happens to “Rock ‘n’ Roll High School” when you remove The Ramones? Three words – “High School Musical.”

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