Watts Wants Woody

     February 23, 2009

Written by Matt Goldberg

The storyline today seems to be that Naomi Watts has signed on to Woody Allen’s new film, Penelope Cruz won an Oscar last night for being in a Woody Allen movie (not for her performance, but because she was in a Woody Allen movie, so this narrative must go), and therefore, Watts is making a blatant Oscar grab by signing on to Allen’s latest film which has no title and no description because it’s a Woody Allen film and you’ll know about it when he’s goddamned good and ready.

Not even Watts knows what role she’ll be playing. She just wants the Oscar so badly. Sure, we could take her as a serious actress who wants to work with one of the greatest filmmakers of all time, but that doesn’t fit the storyline. Instead, I assume she’s going to be in for massive disappointment when she discovers she’ll be playing a Viking who feasts on babies. It’s a bold new direction for Allen but I’m not really sure the Academy is ready for it. Still, I’m sure Watts will sink her teeth into the role, much like her character sinks her teeth into newborns. There will also be a neurotic, nebbish-y character among the Vikings.

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